My Heart Belongs in Castle Gate, Utah Read online

A position? In the city? Lord, is this my way out?

  If it was, then why did she hesitate? Just like she mistook Alex’s mention of a hike as an invitation. Both wavering moments had something to do with her heart. She may as well have stumbled down a tricky cliff than climbed out of the Tilton’s wagon.

  “The heart is deceitful above all things…: who can know it?”

  She did know it. Months were spent arguing with Jack, shaming him for the consequences that had led to his death. And now, her very wish to leave this place could come true, and she might let her heart ruin even that.

  Her recent days here had reminded her of the one thing she’d still clung to—her hope in education. And she had the Pappas family to thank for that. It was the children’s love for life, Alex’s kindness, and the whole family’s hospitality to a widow that had removed the mud from her eyes. Now, it was time to move on.

  “Well, Mrs. McKee?” Mr. Tilton stepped around the horse, helped her down, and returned to his seat.

  “Of course. I would appreciate an interview with your daughter very much.”

  She looked past the houses across the street and stared at the spires of Castle Gate. They probably loomed over Alex this very instant. If she had joined him on the hike, the opportunity to leave this place would have been lost.

  But if she had gone on the hike, would she have considered leaving, after all?

  Her cheeks flushed.

  Lord, I must leave now. To stay would be as dangerous as Mrs. Tilton implied.

  Alex turned toward the towering rock, the slush splashing up at each stride.

  “Alex!” Constantine ran across the street from the boardinghouse. “Where are you off to?”

  “Going up to the rocks today. Are you going to church?”

  “Yes. My sister’s betrothed is the priest’s cousin. How can I not?” He grinned and shrugged his shoulders.

  “Ah, I see.” Alex had little desire to converse. Not with the confused battle between his heart and his mind. “Have a good morning, Constantine.”

  “Wait, I would like to speak with you.” He put his arm around Alex and offered him a seat on a nearby bench. “I have wanted to talk to you for quite some time.”

  “What is it? We will both get a late start to our day off if we sit here and gab.”

  “I know, I know.” The young man took a seat. He blew on his bare hands.

  Alex sighed, trying to tamper his agitation.

  “My parents struggle in Greece. They write often and beg for me to return with a dowry for my sister, Kristina. At least she could marry off and have some future.” He was hardly twenty, but his worry appeared like that of an old man.

  “I know times are hard over there, which helped convince my own family to start new in America.”

  “I try to convince my parents of the same thing.” Constantine’s face lit up with expectancy. “That is why I ask you. How do I do that?”

  “Each situation is different. My parents desired to open a restaurant, and with this place growing like weeds, I convinced them.”

  “But what of you marrying a Greek woman? There are none here. Do you plan to go back?” The young man crossed his arms, waiting for an answer. Alex understood his concern. There was hardly a day that went by without Papa offering to send him to Greece to find a bride.

  “Is that what is stopping your family? A bride for you?”

  Constantine shook his head and sighed. “Can I trust you, Alex?”

  Alex grimaced. What was this young man going to ask? Alex was not concerned for someone else’s family dilemmas.

  “I am in love—with an American,” Constantine whispered. “And she loves me back.”

  Alex pushed his back into the bench. “I see.”

  “How can I tell my family to come here and not worry about a bride for me? What if they bring one to me? If I could just get them here without worrying about a Greek woman, then I could convince them of my own match.” He spoke the last words with much animation, as if he’d rehearsed that line to perfection.

  “What country are you from, man? And what family? You cannot take the Greek way out of your parents just by moving them across the ocean. Besides, there are plenty of Americans who would give you trouble for tempting one of their own.”

  Constantine looked deflated. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “Susanna and I have already received the blessing of her parents, which helps with naysayers. I know it will be hard at first, but we are going to make it work. I just can’t find a way to convince my parents to move here.”

  “Is it worth it?” Alex asked himself as much as Constantine. “I mean, is a woman worth risking your family’s happiness and American hostilities?”

  Constantine swiped his hat off his head and twisted it. He looked over at Alex with bright hazel eyes. “Yes, Alex. It is worth it. I will work for my sister’s dowry a little longer. And then after that? Susanna and I are supposed to be together. I know it. I can’t risk leaving her out of my future.”

  The young man reminded Alex of himself when he had first decided to come to America. Such determination for a better life. All for love.

  Alex thought love was lost when Helena died. But now his heart was waking up. He and Constantine had more in common than he thought.

  The young man stood up and crammed his hat on his head. “One more question, and then I must go to church.”

  “What?” His mouth was dry, the word slurred as if he spoke from a deep sleep.

  “Would you give up everything for a woman?”

  Alex rose and tapped his hiking stick on the ground as hard as he grit his teeth. “No. Constantine. I would not.” He promised himself no distractions long ago. That was what made his choice to follow Anthis worth it. Success against all odds. Even if he’d started out failing the one person who’d counted on his success—Helena.

  Constantine’s hopeful expression melted as quickly as a falling icicle landing on a burning bed of coal. He shook his head then started toward Main Street.

  Suddenly a rock, heavier than those along his hike, settled in Alex’s stomach. “I am sorry, Constantine,” he called out. “But we have duties to our families.”

  Constantine turned back, narrowing his eyes at Alex. “Yes, but we are men. Our choice in whom we love should be our own.” He spun around and sulked off to church.

  Could Alex be that brave? Turn his back on his promise to himself and love another—an American at that? What would it cost him? His family?

  They would only accept a Greek woman. His father had made that perfectly clear.

  Alex shuddered.

  The greatest question would be if an American woman would consider him at all. He fluttered his eyes upward and scowled. If God weren’t so far away, Alex would beg him for an answer.

  He ground his stick in the earth ahead and pushed forward in the bright winter morning. He tried to form words of an old tune that he often mumbled to empty his thoughts. But he couldn’t. Only one word came easily to him that morning.

  Leanna.

  The next week, snow appeared again, covering the weeds along the road. Leanna was careful to avoid any ice as she turned toward the restaurant. When would she let Alex know of her plan to interview in Salt Lake City? She felt an urgency to tell him, especially since he’d made it clear how much his family depended on her.

  Yesterday, Mrs. Tilton had reluctantly stood in the doorway of the classroom with her daughter’s address scribbled on a piece of paper with a date and time. She barely spoke to her and sniffled as she bustled away. Leanna would certainly put her best effort into impressing her daughter. It would make the pompous woman squirm.

  Maria rushed out of the restaurant door with a smile pushing up her rosy cheeks. “Teddy is coming today!”

  Leanna returned her smile with a broad grin. “Wonderful. Where is he?”

  The door to the restaurant barely closed before it swung open again and Teddy tumbled out. “Look, Meesus McKee.” He held up his arm an
d wiggled his fingers from a cast.

  “It is good to see you, Teddy. We should—”

  “Ella,” Alex’s deep voice called from inside the restaurant, and soon he appeared at the door. He switched to English and said, “I will take you, Teddy.” He reached his arms to his nephew.

  “Mr. Pappas, I am capable of taking the children,” Leanna insisted.

  “Yes, you are,” Alex said with a gentle voice. “But there are slick spots and I am free this morning. Yanni and I work the graveyard shift this week.” He bent down and lifted Teddy up. The boy hitched his scrawny legs over his uncle’s shoulders.

  “Very well.” Her words were stuck in her throat. Why did her insides tumble so?

  She reached for Maria’s hand and took long strides toward the road. She must focus on Salt Lake City now. Surely this tutor position was God’s provision to leave this dark place behind. But what perplexed her was that she didn’t notice the dark near as much. The sun shone bright, the joy of children surrounded her, and Alex stirred a reminiscent longing that she felt as a debutante long ago.

  “How is the children’s mother?” she asked, walking beside him.

  “Penelope is okay. Momma thinks she might walk around soon enough,” Alex said.

  They wouldn’t need her anymore. “The winter break is coming. Perhaps my duty to you is coming to an end.” A gloom covered her heart and she remembered the darkness of this place after all.

  “Perhaps.”

  She looked up at him. His jaw was tight, twitching beneath a slight stubble.

  Maria broke the silence. “Meesus McKee, I like you to walk me to school.” She tugged at Leanna’s arm.

  “You are a sweet child, Maria.” She stroked her curls. “I will leave here very soon, though.” From the corner of her eye she noticed Alex’s head turn in her direction. “I have an interview in Salt Lake City this Saturday.” An icy patch glistened to their left. She pulled Maria closer to avoid it.

  “I suppose a hike is out of the question.” His voice seeped with a challenge.

  Her lips parted, and she stared at him. He stopped walking and she did the same.

  “I apologize for my assumption the other day,” she mumbled. Humiliation coursed through her veins.

  “I wish I’d thought of it first.” His smile did not brighten his face like it normally did. His eyes were soft and eager. “But now you might leave. You must see the Castle Gate spires close up, not from the window of a train.” Alex breathed in deep. “There are few things in this world as beautiful as the carved mountains, and to have you there would be the perfect—”

  “Thios Alex,” Teddy whined from over his shoulders then spoke in Greek. Alex nodded and shifted the little boy up, tightening his arms around his nephew’s legs.

  Alex’s words hung between them, aggravating and exciting her all at once. She shouldn’t think on them one moment longer, but her skin tingled at all he implied—that she might be beautiful to him.

  They continued ahead while Alex conversed with Teddy. When they reached the school gate, he helped the boy down then kissed Maria on the head.

  He turned to Leanna. “Good day, Mrs. McKee.” He sighed then headed back down the hill.

  The school day could not have started on a more frustrating note. Her time here was coming to a close, and she must do everything in her power to make that happen. If she stayed in Castle Gate any longer, she might regret more than her life as a bitter wife—following that man into the wilderness was becoming a tempting notion—and her heart was wild in anticipation of his every word.

  Thankfully, the week continued on as quiet as usual, and she had plenty of time to prepare herself for the interview. The children met her in the morning with no sign of their uncle, and they ran into the restaurant at the end of each school day without a greeting from any Pappas member.

  She was relieved that Alex was nowhere to be found. This was her chance to step away from all the memories and prove that she could follow her dream to the full. Her thoughts must remain only on the gratitude she felt for Alex—that he revived her love for progress without prejudice. If she lost sight of that, she worried that she might discover more than her overactive debutante heart—but an adoration worthy of Mrs. Tilton’s warning.

  Saturday arrived, and she hurried down her path to catch the train to Salt Lake City. As she neared Main Street, familiar laughter soured her excitement. The Greek labor agent stood at the corner by the Pappas restaurant. He rubbed his hands together, his chin tucked deep in the fur collar of his enormous overcoat.

  Unfortunately, her hat could not hide her face today. Leanna assumed her proudest position, tilting her nose to the sky and keeping her eye on the road ahead. She tried to calm the furious shudder inside. The last time she’d actually spoken to the avaricious man was the day of Jack’s death in the mine.

  “Ah, pretty lady!”

  She pressed her lips together and ignored him as best she could.

  “Meesus McKee, is that it?”

  “Leave her be, Anthis,” Alex growled. She stopped and saw him on the porch behind Anthis. He stood with his hands on his hips as if guarding his family’s restaurant.

  “What, Alex?” Anthis raised his eyebrows and pushed his chin farther into his fur collar. “I want to give my condolences.” The man laid a heavy hand on Alex’s shoulder and said, “Okay?” He spurted a gurgling chuckle then turned to Leanna.

  “Jack was a good man, Meesus McKee.” He held his hands out as if he expected her to embrace him.

  She shot a look at Alex. His gaze was so intent on her, dancing with a glimmer of affection, her proud defense nearly slipped away. Was she imagining his attention? She swallowed hard, looking away.

  “Meesus McKee? Has the cat got your tongue?” Anthis whispered then erupted in laughter.

  A wall crumbled down inside her, unleashing a fiery flood. She could not avoid him any longer. “Do not tell me that Jack was a good man, sir.” Narrowing her eyes, she stepped closer. “You had little conscience when stealing whatever good remained in my husband.” If she wasn’t a lady she would spit on his shoe. His astonished look gave her only small satisfaction, and she breathed deep, ready to retort to his next dismissive comment. But Mrs. Pappas’s voice distracted their heated exchange. She called for Alex from inside the restaurant.

  “Excuse me,” Alex said before slipping inside. She imagined he was breathing a sigh of relief at that moment, and she wished she could also be excused from this icy atmosphere.

  Anthis began to wring his gloved hands. “Look, I am sorry for taking Jack’s money. It was a friendly wager. I tell Alex all the time, I am not always here for business.” He shrugged his shoulders.

  “Business?” She scoffed. Jack had told her about the scoundrel’s fees for his own countrymen. All the more reason she was furious when she caught Jack feeding the beast with his minuscule wages. “If I recall, your fellow Greek men disagree with your ways.”

  “Who? Alex?” Anthis waved a hand as if swatting a fly. “He’s been bitter since his wife died before he could send her money for medicine. I tell him it’s not my problem. All labor agents collect money to live. How else do we eat?”

  “He gambled her money away?” Her throat tightened.

  “Alex? Gamble?” Anthis’s whole body shook with his obnoxious outburst. “That man takes life too seriously for that! When I met him in Greece, he practically begged for me to bring him to America to make a fortune and save his wife.” He shook his head and sucked air through his teeth. “Even if he had made enough for her treatment, how could he expect to get the money to her in time?”

  Leanna squeezed her hands inside her muff and resumed her glare, even though her ears rang with the news.

  “He came here to make money for her?” She nearly whispered, “Not himself?”

  “Neh, neh.” Anthis nodded. “He’s like your husband in a way, eh?” He pointed a finger to the sky. “Jack mentioned making some money to get you out of here. These men
doing what they can for their women, when in the end, life is full of disappointment.” He shook his head. “Good day, Meesus McKee. It was a”—he cleared his throat—“pleasure.” He tipped his hat and crossed over toward the coffeehouse.

  Alex poked his head out from the door. “Are you okay?”

  She just stared at him. His love for money did not lead him to America. His love for his wife did. The chivalrous immigrant crossed the ocean and foreign land to save his wife’s life.

  “I am fine.” Her voice rasped. Shame flooded her. “I must go.”

  As she hurried down the street, Leanna wiped hot tears from her face. Thank heavens the journey to Salt Lake City would take hours or she’d run the risk of showing up to her interview flustered.

  That labor agent brought her a different type of turmoil than usual. Jack’s last bet had stirred up a mighty fight between them, hadn’t it? She shuttered her eyes, her guilt only sharpened at remembering her angry words. Would she have lashed out so, if she had known he was trying to please her—even if it was in a pitiful gamble?

  She continued toward the depot, confused as to why Alex would compare his deed to Jack’s. A gamble was a gamble, but Alex’s venture was nothing of the sort.

  The man went to the ends of the earth to help his dying wife. Not difficult to believe from a man whose loyalty to his family and kindness to her was a shining light in this dark coal town. His attempt to save his wife was a great feat, even if it failed.

  Perhaps Leanna did not need to leave Castle Gate for her own future, but for the protection of those who deserved to prosper most—the Pappas family and especially the hardworking, compassionate Alex Pappas, who seemed too enamored with someone as broken as Leanna McKee.

  Alex skirted around his mother at the heavy wooden kitchen table. The little woman rolled out a thin sheet of dough, using her whole body to create the paper-thin pieces of phyllo. She stretched her arms across with one movement then pulled the pin back just before her torso dragged against her creation. What effort it took, but how delicious the outcome. Alex’s mouth watered imagining the sweet baklava filled with honey and nuts between crispy phyllo layers.